Man is fond of counting his troubles, but he does not count his joys. If he counted them up as he ought to, he would see that every lot has enough happiness provided for it. – Fyodor Dostoevsky
Thats how serenity comes to life. Being content with whatever you get from life, instead of making it miserable by running behind what you don’t have.
I was trying hard to get over my break up. Life is not easy when you loose someone, with whom you spent your life’s best years. Not one , not two but three wonderful years. Moments of Joy , smiles and happiness. The random fights, the anger and then coming back with even stronger love. Its true, love is complex feeling. I knew we could not live together forever due to lot of considerations. We respected each other’s priorities and we knew that we can not fit in with each other.
We never wanted that, but when it actually came upon, it was hard for both of us. Especially for me. Being the sensible one among both of us , she supported me in the hard time of complaints, constant hurts and troubles that I gave her. Though, I knew the reality that we can not be together but it was very hard for me to get over it.But she stood by me.
It is more than 6 months, since her engagement, and finally , I am getting over it.
Though , I have been bad to her, complaining that it was her actions that lead to our seperation, but it was just excuses for my ignorant heart, which won’t accept the reality.
Its probably the stages of grief , starting from denial of the reality. Thats what grief is all about. Shattering of dreams.A virtual nest of dreams inside which our heart with wings stays. It gets its wings under the sky of happiness and sun of joy and comes back to that warm and cozy virtual nest of dreams , ignoring the harsh character of nature, which will destroy the nest with the wind of reality leading to rain of tears.
That virtual nest, where our heart stays all the time, its not the truth. Our heart gets used to it so much that we are not able to accept the truth , the reality. The ‘denial’ leads us to pain and anger.Anger over ourselves, over our loved ones. The heart looks for culprits who has broke its weary dream.
Grief leads to lot of changes in us.
Be it any kind of grief, It always changes us, wether in form of an improvement or degradation in character.A human character is defined by the hardships faced, the attitude is determined on basis of handling of this grief.
I started taking things negatively, “Why should I care”.. “She is the culprit, why should I think of her.” I kept telling myself. But , thats when you need to hold yourself, Pause and think. Do not let your character be effected by entropy of events.
As per tulsidas,
“Dheeraj, Dharm , Mitr or Naari ..Aaapat kal parakhiye chaari”
Patience, Character, Friends and the soul mate is best tested at the time of Problems.
So hold to your character.Trust me, things will be better if you accept things. Life is all about moving along, accepting things.
If only we’d stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time. ~Edith Wharton
Don’t try to hard, to be happy and you will know that you are the happiest person on earth.
Yesterday, We met. I cherish being with her. What if we can not be together, we still can be good friends. I remember my words.
I will be always be there for you.. always
We talked, we laughed, had dinner together, remembered our good old times. Feels good. After all,
Ishq de mitra pehchan wahi,..mit jaye jado jid apnan di *(thats best in punjabi)